As guests arrived, the Christmas music playing softly in the background was quickly overtaken by conversation.
“Who was your roommate again?”
“Wait — how old are you?”
“You weren’t even Lovett.”
The comments flew easily, layered over laughter and overlapping conversations as about 30 Rice University alumni filled Chris (Lovett ’78) and Irene Lahart’s home on a Friday evening in December. Plates of food and drinks in hand, they hugged hello, caught up on life — careers, families, milestones — and slipped effortlessly back into relationships that began more than five decades ago.
At one point, someone joked, “Who invited the journalist?” — a reminder, delivered with a grin, that in the earliest years, an outsider with a notebook and camera might not have made the guest list.
“The first gathering may have been as few as five people,” Lahart said, “and probably all men.”
That was December 1974, inside Lahart’s Lovett College dorm room during the lull between final exams and winter break. At the time, many of Rice’s colleges were single sex, and Lovett was all male.
The setup was simple: a two-foot Christmas tree wedged into the bottom of an empty beer box, a few bored freshmen who hadn’t left campus yet and no expectations beyond enjoying time together.
Those early years reflected the way social life worked at Rice back in the 1970s. With single-sex colleges, students were encouraged, by necessity, to branch out.
“It was pretty much the men of Lovett and the babes of Jones,” said Frank Bay (Lovett ’79). “Over time, we let others in — very reluctantly.”
“That Will Rice guy is very suspect!” he said with a laugh.
For the duration of Lahart’s four years at Rice, the party stayed in Lovett, held annually in December while the group was still on campus. After graduation, the gathering moved off campus, rotating through apartments and homes as members began careers, married and built families.
What never rotated was the commitment to coming back.
“These were people who shared some very significant life experiences between the ages of 18 and 22,” Lahart said. “Even as life moved on, we still needed a reason to see each other.”
The Christmas party became that reason — a standing invitation that endured through moves, marriages, children and loss. While most of the group has remained in Texas, this year two longtime members traveled from out of state — one from Florida and another from Salt Lake City, Utah — to be there.
“It’s not just celebrations,” Ann Spiering said (Jones ‘78). “We’re there for marriages, kids, kids’ marriages, funerals of friends and parents. I could call anyone in this group, and they’d be there.”
Over time, that sense of continuity extended to the next generation. Some children made brief appearances at past gatherings, and several later went on to attend Rice themselves — including a few who followed the Lovett lineage.
The group’s connection to Lovett College remained strong, shaped in part by longtime Lovett masters Sidney and Mary Lee Burrus, who attended the gatherings for many years and have been deeply missed since their passing.
“I still can’t quite put my finger on exactly how they did it,” Mark Scheevel said, “but they encouraged a real sense of community, and we just ran with it.”
If there is one ritual that captures the spirit of the group, it is the gift exchange — widely considered the highlight of the night.
The rules are straightforward: Guests take turns rolling a die then choose a wrapped gift or steal one already claimed — that’s when things get interesting. Before long, the exchange grows increasingly animated, complete with mock outrage, laughter and well-established strategies as particularly coveted gifts change hands.
What starts politely rarely stays that way.
Like the friendships themselves, the game thrives on familiarity. Everyone knows the personalities. Everyone knows who will steal. And everyone comes back the next year ready to play again.
What has kept the group connected, Lahart said, is the mix of people it brought together — friends who shared a Rice experience but went on to very different lives and careers and who still enjoy learning from one another.
Others point to the era in which the friendships were formed — before social media, when staying in touch required intention.
“Make the effort,” Spiering said. “Even if it’s only once or twice a year.”
More than five decades after a handful of Lovett freshmen gathered around a tiny Christmas tree in a dorm room, the Rice Friends’ Christmas party remains what it has always been — a reason to come together, laugh loudly, tell the same stories again and pick up conversations right where they left off.
The spirit of Lovett College still runs through the room — even if the words have been cleaned up a bit.
“Do good, do right, wash behind your ears.
“Don’t drink, don’t smoke and respect your peers.
“We are the best college — all the others cuss.
“Edgar Odell Lovett, yay for us.”
And judging by the sound in the room on a December night, they’re not done yet.